Counselling for Male Depression: Why Don’t They Get Help?
Male depression is a severe mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide, but when it comes to men, the struggle to seek help is often greater. Depression in men are less likely to acknowledge their feelings, reach out for support, or even recognise that they are suffering from depression.
This avoidance can have significant consequences, impacting their health, relationships, and overall quality of life.
Understanding the Issue
Depression doesn’t discriminate—it affects people regardless of gender, age, or background. However, the way depression manifests in men can be different from how it does in women.
Social conditioning, cultural norms, and stereotypes often play a role in why men hesitate to open up about their struggles. Society’s portrayal of masculinity tends to prioritize stoicism, strength, and resilience, which makes it difficult for many men to admit they need help, let alone seek professional counselling.
Men are also more likely to downplay their symptoms or cope in harmful ways, such as drinking, withdrawing from loved ones, or engaging in risky behaviours.
The impact of untreated depression is profound, often leading to a downward spiral that affects every aspect of their lives.
Addressing male depression early and effectively through counselling is crucial in breaking this cycle.
Symptoms of Depression in Men
While depression symptoms can vary, men often experience and express these symptoms differently compared to women. Some of the key symptoms of depression in men include:
- Irritability and Anger: Rather than showing sadness, many men experience heightened irritability or anger, which can lead to arguments and conflicts with family and friends.
- Fatigue and Loss of Interest: Men may feel chronically tired, lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, or feel as though they’re just going through the motions of life.
- Substance Abuse: Alcohol or drug misuse is a common way for men to cope with their feelings, which often makes the depression worse.
- Isolation: Men experiencing depression often withdraw from friends, family, and social situations. They may feel disconnected and choose to spend more time alone.
- Physical Symptoms: Depression in men frequently manifests in physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive issues, and chronic pain. These symptoms are often misattributed to other health problems.
Recognizing these symptoms is the first step toward getting the right help. When depression goes untreated, it can lead to severe consequences, including the risk of suicide.
Triggers for Male Depression
Depression in men is often triggered by factors influenced by societal expectations, personal challenges, and biological differences. Here are some common triggers:
- Work and Financial Stress: Pressures to succeed professionally or provide financially can lead to anxiety and depression, especially with job loss or mounting debt.
- Relationship Problems: Issues like divorce, breakups, or family conflicts can trigger depression, as men often struggle to express their feelings during these times.
- Health Issues: Chronic illnesses or physical limitations may lead to emotional distress and feelings of lost control.
- Grief and Loss: Losing a loved one or significant separations can trigger depressive symptoms, especially when compounded by societal pressure to remain “strong.”
- Isolation: Limited social connections lead to loneliness, which makes men more vulnerable to depression. Retirement or relocation can increase isolation.
- Life Transitions: Changes like retirement, fatherhood, or career shifts can overwhelm men, leading to depression, particularly if they feel unprepared for new responsibilities.
- Childhood Trauma: Past abuse or neglect often resurfaces later, increasing the risk of depression during stressful periods.
- Substance Use: Alcohol and drugs are often used to cope with stress but can worsen depressive symptoms, creating a negative cycle.
- Unresolved Anger: Suppressed anger can lead to stress and eventually depression, especially for men who struggle to express emotions healthily.
- Lack of Purpose: Feeling a lack of direction, especially during midlife, can trigger depressive symptoms, particularly when achievements don’t meet personal expectations.
Understanding these triggers is critical to addressing depression in men and seeking timely professional support.
Depression from Sexual Dysfunction in Men
Sexual dysfunction, such as erectile dysfunction (ED), reduced libido, or premature ejaculation, can significantly impact a man’s mental health, leading to depression. For many men, sexuality is closely tied to self-esteem, masculinity, and relationship satisfaction.
When sexual issues arise, they often trigger feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, and anxiety, which can evolve into depression if left unaddressed.
The emotional impact of sexual dysfunction includes:
- Low Self-Esteem: Sexual issues can lead men to feel inadequate or “less of a man,” negatively affecting their self-worth.
- Relationship Strain: Sexual dysfunction can create tension between partners, leading to misunderstandings, decreased intimacy, and feelings of isolation, further contributing to depressive symptoms.
- Performance Anxiety: Worrying about sexual performance often creates a cycle of stress that exacerbates the dysfunction, making depression more likely.
- Avoidance: Many men may avoid intimacy altogether out of fear of failure or embarrassment, leading to emotional distance in relationships and worsening feelings of loneliness and depression.
Seeking help is essential for breaking this cycle. Counselling, medical treatment, or both can effectively address sexual dysfunction and the emotional struggles that accompany it, helping men regain their confidence and improve their overall mental well-being.
Male Depression and Suicide
Depression is a leading cause of suicide, and the statistics for men are alarming.
Men are significantly more likely to die by suicide compared to women, partly because they often choose more lethal methods and are less likely to reach out for support.
In Australia, men account for roughly three-quarters of all suicide deaths. This stark figure highlights how important it is for men to seek help and have access to effective mental health care.
Stigma and misconceptions about masculinity contribute heavily to these tragic outcomes. Men often believe they must “tough it out” rather than talk about their struggles, leading to hopelessness.
We must encourage men to speak up and seek professional support to address the underlying causes of their distress.
Why Men Struggle to Open Up?
Many men are conditioned from a young age to suppress their emotions.
Phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry” are often heard during childhood, instilling the belief that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness.
This ingrained cultural conditioning becomes a significant barrier to seeking help, even when they’re suffering.
Additionally, there is a fear of being judged or misunderstood. Men often worry that admitting to depression will make them appear weak or incapable, leading to concerns about how it might affect their relationships, work, or self-esteem.
These fears can make it difficult for men to open up, even to those closest to them.
How Counselling Can Help Men Suffering from Depression
Counselling offers a safe, non-judgmental space for men to explore their emotions, understand the root causes of their depression, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
A skilled counsellor can help men navigate their feelings, which might feel confusing or overwhelming, and empower them to regain control over their lives.
Counselling allows men to:
- Recognise and Validate Their Feelings: It provides an opportunity to understand that feeling depressed is not a sign of weakness but rather a challenge that requires care and attention.
- Develop Effective Coping Skills: Through counselling, men can learn positive coping strategies that are more effective than harmful habits like substance use.
- Improve Communication: Therapy helps men articulate their thoughts and emotions, which can improve relationships with loved ones and reduce feelings of isolation.
- Set and Achieve Goals: Depression often makes even simple tasks feel insurmountable. Counselling can help men set achievable goals, restoring a sense of purpose and motivation.
Male Depression and Coping Skills
Practical coping skills are vital to managing depression. Counselling can introduce practical strategies such as:
- Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices like meditation and deep-breathing exercises can help men reduce anxiety and regain control over their emotional responses.
- Physical Activity: Exercise is proven to reduce symptoms of depression. A counsellor can help a man find physical activities that he enjoys, which can lead to better physical and mental health.
- Building a Support Network: Learning to reconnect with friends, family, or peers is essential. Counselling encourages men to identify and reach out to supportive people.
- Challenging Negative Thought Patterns: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a common therapeutic approach used to help identify and challenge harmful thought patterns that contribute to depression.
Encouragement for Men to Seek Counselling
It takes strength to acknowledge when something is wrong and seek help. Counselling can be a powerful tool for men dealing with depression, offering them the support they need in a private, compassionate setting.
If you or someone you love is struggling with symptoms of depression, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. It’s okay to ask for help, which can be life-changing.
Contact Lee Calleja at Chirn Park Health Group on the Gold Coast
Lee Calleja is an experienced counsellor Gold Coast who understands the unique challenges men face regarding mental health. At Chirn Park Health Group, Lee offers a supportive and confidential environment where men can explore their feelings and start the journey toward recovery.
Whether you prefer private, in-person Counselling Consultations at our Southport clinic or the convenience of online video appointments, Lee is here to help. Take the courageous step today—reach out to Lee Calleja and start your journey toward a healthier, happier life.
